(NAME WITHHELD)------ ANSWERED

Dear (Name Withheld)

I discussed your letter with my husband and our 8 year old daughter. The incident you reported was (Name Withheld) dropping (Name Withheld) off at the YMCA for swim team practice. 

My advice to you is to stop your twisted attempt to stir up martial discord, take your meds regularly, and go to a drug store and buy you some Snore-Ez.

Ready to go to Fist City,

(Name Withheld)

OKLAHOMA LAUDRIMAT

(Name Withheld)

Dear (Name Withheld),

You do not know me; however, I feel compelled to alert you to a low down home wrecker.

I was driving by the YMCA last Friday evening and I saw your husband walking hand-in-hand with a female wearing a tight fitting red swim suit. Just before she entered the YMCA, he kissed her on the cheek and then entered his car and drove away.

My ex-husband (Name Withheld) divorced me and pulled the same old (#@*&) on me. During the divorce proceedings my husband convinced the judge I was bi-polar, paranoid, insanely jealous, snored, and prone to tell half truths and even lies. He got the kids and I got $200/child/month in child support!

Seen it all before,
(Name Withheld) 

PAPER OR PLASTIC ?

Shawnee has recently experienced several convenience and fast food store hold ups at gun point. No one has thankfully been hurt.

I was discussing the situation with a worker in our second largest grocery store. He said that when he started work he was told"If you are held up and the robber demands money from the cash register, ask him if he wants the money in paper or plastic?"

Glenn <><
Just West of Yesterday

Gilligan's Island ---Then and Now (Too much information?)

I never liked the series---my kids did.

Check out the You Tube link.  Makes me feel real old!!!! (My oldest daughter said last year that everything makes me feel old!)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY0nCQPd_jk

Glenn <><
Just West of Yesterday

WHY I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT !

          "Couldn't Sleep At All Last Night"

1. Up all night studying for a blood test

2. Failed to find an honest TV info commercial 

3. Afraid Repo Man would come back

4. Wrote complaint letter to Look magazine

5. Reviewed old report cards---same result

6. Tried to identify 3 honest politicians 

7. Assembled all bills 90 days past due

 8. Played Solitaire with  a deck of 51 cards

 9. Finally opened last year's Christmas cards

10. Tried to find mates to 47 socks

Glenn <><
Just West of Yesterday

THE BEST SINGER YOU PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF --- LENNY WELCH

LENNY WELCH : He recorded some great music in the early--mid '60s. Super voice and some wonderful arrangements---especially on his signature song--"Since I Fell For You" 

Go to this You Tube link and hear some super music:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7xrQY_FLM4&list=AL94UKMTqg-
9Cxry4Qv5MDHcmZ1cXY5P29

Glenn <><
Just West of Yesterday 

The Mystery Is Not A Mystery Anymore

In my home there are five television sets, three wireless phones, smart phones for my  two teenage grandsons who live with us, and an old flip cell phone that I use, more radios than I can count, five laptop computers on the Internet, 

THE PONDEROSA ---Magnet for Drifters, Ex-cons, & Runaways

On any given day at least four old Ponderosa  re-runs can be viewed on satellite or cable. Ben, Adam, Hoss, and Little Joe were quickly pressed onto this series and the results show it. Only Adam had any screen time on a horse.

Poor acting, second class scripts, and phony sets notwithstanding, the show always had a high moral plane. This cut and paste TV show become number one for many months. 

One of the recurring plots revolved around visitors to the Ponderosa. Often there was a connection with Daddy Ben---after all he lived in several places. Almost without exception, a lovely girl is part of the crew that stays with the Cartwrights.  

Adam or Little Joe falls for the smiling, beautiful and helpless (often scheming) maid.Every now and again Hoss is visited by Cupid and he has to battle a brother over some stylish and seemingly innocent miss.

I wonder if the show were filmed today would Hop Sing get into the mix and contend for the attention of some sweet, young thing from back East? 

While I am at it, is it just me but Sheriff Roy Coffey always seeks help from Ben and the Boys when he is in trouble but let a simple false charge be made against the Cartwrights and he starts seeking a strong limb and a new rope. What is wrong with that picture? I personally think the sheriff is Bi-polar and needs to get into treatment. I know I'll never give again to the Silver City Sheriff's Association.



  

Livers, Gizzards and Wings

Rural convenience stores sell gas, cigs, and beer----just like their urban counterparts.

Many of the rural Oklahoma convenience stores sell a variety of ready to eat fast foods. Pizzas are popular but do require a prep time before they are ready to be picked up.

It is the deep fried chicken livers, gizzards and wings (and sometimes catfish) that brings in the pickup trucks, motorcycles, and all manner of cars. Cowboys, ranchers, oilfield hands, students, ballplayers, busy Moms who work outside of the home, fishermen, hunters, sales people, and a vast array of other folks stop to sample these Sooner State tasty delights.

Upon entering one of these rural stores, the smell of cooking oil that is near the flash point can be detected. Sometimes a thin transparent light blue cloud hangs magically suspended from the ceiling. The cloud signals a busy and profitable day for the store.

Many of the stores have a few tables and benches where the gourmet food can be consumed and juicy gossip exchanged. Retired men, hunters, and fishermen usually get first dibs on the few tables and benches.  

Of course gas, diesel fuel, candy, soft drinks, bread,
milk and beer is offered for sale. Some stores sell sacked cow and horse feed, weed killers, worms and minnows.

The front windows are nearly covered with school sports schedules.  Coming rodeos and church event signs are there also. A hastily drawn sign seeking blood donors for a community member injured in an auto accident shares adjacent space with another hand drawn sign for items requested for a burned out family.

These stores are routine transit points for most of the people I know, love and serve. How blessed can this old preacher be?

Glenn <><
Just West of Yesterday

UNCLE WALTER 'GK' GIVENS

          THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION
     ( DO YOU HAVE AN UNCLE WALTER? )

Uncle Walter “GK” Givens

Uncle Walter “GK” (Grassy Knoll) Givens was not your typical atypical crazy uncle that seems to be standard issue for each American family. No sir! Uncle Walter came to earth from his own alternate universe. Sadly, he spent much of his life attempting to find the worm hole portal through which he must have transited en route to a troubled sphere called Earth.

Older family members summarily dismissed the Star Trek explanation for his bizarre behavior; instead, they point to a head first fall from Miss Carrie Sutton’s prize apple tree when Walter was six years old. He was in a coma for nine days and when he awoke he told of a fantastic voyage from somewhere in the night sky to Earth. He, and the people that knew him, was never the same.

At age 12 he created a firestorm by writing a letter to the editor of the local newspaper by stating there was a huge conspiracy between Santa, the Tooth Fair, and the Easter Bunny and the seven dentists in his town. 

Later, at age 16 he accused the TV and radio weathermen of getting a kickback from area grocery stores each time snow or other bad weather was forecast. To prove his point he went from grocery store parking lot to grocery store parking lot counting cars after a forecast of bad weather. He stated there was an almost 100 percent correlation.

As he grew older his conspiracy theories grow bolder. He believed in November , 1963 the JFK assassination involved a second shooter on the grassy knoll.

Much of what he learned about conspiracies he picked up from the late night “Coast to Coast AM” radio broadcast. He slept until 11am most days.

A year after the tragedy in Dallas, when ZIP codes were implemented, he knew the codes were a sneaky communist plot to sub-divide the United States into easy to rule cells after the USSR defeated the USA in a threatened preemptive nuclear strike.

In addition to conspiracy theories, he made several “outside the box” deductions. One was to reduce the school dropout age to 14 from the present 16. His reasoning went like this: When a student drops out of school at 16 they realize their mistake later but are too embarrassed to return to school at 18 or 19. Therefore, if they drop out sooner they will be more likely to come back to school later!

School dropouts were of major concern to Uncle “GK”. He read a study that said many boys left school early to work full time so they could keep a car on the road. Well, why not have the government subsidize teen car owners to keep them in school? He said it could be called Medi CAR!

Since UFO’s, Greens, and Greys, are real we need to start communicating with them. But how? Uncle “GK” figured the only universal constant is the mathematical concept of Pi. He convinced a couple of dozen true believers to join him on a hilltop outside of town to use their car headlights to flash “3.14” in International Morse code for two hours each night for a week. No answer ever came. It appears he had not thought this through too well---why would an advanced civilization know or even care about the International Morse code?

Of course the moon landing was faked, Elvis was alive and owned a Krispy Kreme donut store in Detroit, and alchemy was a subject that should be taught in every high school and college.

He believed the government was keeping secret the radio power transmission experiments of Nikola Tsela to protect big oil and the electric industry. He made a feeble attempt to duplicate the experiments and only succeeded in knocking out power to all the homes in three blocks around his old two story home.

One of his prize projects was trying to develop a biodegradable bubble gum. He field tested his work in most of the parking lots in town. All of the bubble gum remained as planted. The only outcome was four letter words from men and women walking to and from their cars in the parking lots.

At one family reunion he brought a bologna covered cheese and macaroni casserole. Strangely enough the kids loved it. No adult would try it. 

 His best suit of clothes was a ‘70s lime green leisure suit. He always wore the suit to weddings, funerals, and when he was called for jury duty. He was called three times but did not survive the first round.

This poster man for crazy uncles never married. He had one date while in high school. Late at night, almost every night, he thought of the girl of his one night date and wondered if she had married, had children, grand kids and whether she was happy. He hoped she was as happy as he was. His only regret in life was that he had never kiss a female, Mom doesn't count.

 This nightly fleeting thought was always quickly replaced by his current project or an idea that no one had ever thought about. Crazy Uncle “GK” slept the sound sleep of a happy man and looked forward to each new day.

Glenn <><

Just West of Yesterday