OUR 2014 CHRISTMAS LETTER !!!

Dear Family & Friends

Each year we receive Christmas letters that chronicle the family highlights of the past year. The time is right for us to return the favor. Here goes:

1. First Things First: Shawnee is a mid-size, growing, and ecologically sensitive community. For example---Our mayor had an ordinance passed aimed at cleaning up the city---All carjackers, muggers, and gangbangers are now required to shave.
2. How Lucky Can One Family Be ?---This year we won a free cruise---To The Bermuda Triangle. Also, we were selected to be inflight extras on the remake of---Snakes On A Plane. Finally, we were selected as EPA Citizens of the Year. We were awarded our own island---Three Mile Island.
3. It Can Get Windy On The Prairie---In addition to tornados we get some big straight line winds. This Spring it was so windy Superman was walking. A lady who lives on a farm told me the wind was so strong that one of her “layin’ hens” laid the same egg twice!
4. Personal Achievements: Bought a million dollar life insurance policy for $89.47 from the Acme Insurance and Barn Painting Company. Invited to address the Million Mime March. Got in on the opening of a sequin mine in Las Vegas for $.17 per share. I went big and bought 100 shares. Chosen to be the Grand Marshall of the 1^st Annual All Girl Harmonica Band Marching Parade.
5. Achievements of Grandchildren: Grandson won first place in a school science fair contest. His prize was a “Do It Yourself Atomic Bomb Kit”. The line below a big mushroom cloud on the box cover read “Be the first kid in your block to be the only kid in your block!” Granddaughter placed second in the “Why Barbie Inspires Young Girls” theme contest. She received the entire New Realistic Barbie Collection. After she went to bed, Ken and Barbie climbed out of the second story bedroom window, went to town and got high and came home after 4:30am. Our granddaughter tried to ground Barbie; however, she grabbed a few clothes and went out on the lawn, woke Ken up, caught a cab, and headed to LA. Goodbye Inspiration!

As you can see, 2014 was an especially good year for us.   

Glenn <><

Just West of Yesterday