Water Cooler Bliss

Experts on marriage generally agree that workplace romances are an increasing factor in divorce.

This fact was a topic of discussion I had with a person I have known many years. This Post is a brief summary of that discussion:

Specific cases:

1. A woman, with two teenage sons, had a well known affair with her boss. The affair was terminated when her husband was transferred to another location. She went with him, but a divorce quickly followed.

2. A woman with two teenage sons and a grade school son left her husband to marry a man who worked for her husband. They had many social contacts as a result of the work performed by her husband and her new suiter.

3. A woman with grown children carried on a long affair with a person at work. The affair terminated and the couple was reconciled and today have a strong, healthy marriage.

Please Note: While these examples all represent women, men are equally prone to toss years of marriage away for a new love located at the workplace.

My discussion simply asked the question: "Why do these things happen?"

The person with whom I aked the question had an interesting answer: "Economic independence brings with it the ability for women to make independent decisions in every area of her life---including matters of the heart."

I promptly replied,"If fidelity can be sold for a dollar, it was never worth a dime to start with!"

Upon Further Review (to borrow an NFL replay term) I later looked beyond my knee jerk response and tried to look a bit deeper. What follows is a result of that introspection:

1. An office environment shows people at their best. Clothes, manners, hair styles, and all kinds of attention getting perfumes and body sprays and after shave lotions that are guaranteed to start a sexual feeding frenzy.
Work is like an 8 hour date in your best clothes.

2. For some people getting older is a daily road trip to denial and every effort must be made to display desirability or to even pretend the clock of time can be reversed.

3. There are no children or in-laws to vie for your time and attention. This is a beautifully constructed world of well dressed and good smelling people.

4. Many people are looking for someone to confirm their "victim" status at home. There are lots of listening ears and understanding people at the workplace. "At last, someone will listen and take my side."

5. For others, a workplace romance is much easier than attempting to get counselling and strive for reconciliation. The ME generation is alive and well!

6. And for others, Lust is the same as Love. some will try Lust until Love comes along.

Many people today worry about violence by disgruntled employees. A far greater danger is for marriages to be destroyed by real or imagined affairs of the heart at the workplace.