Every piece of evidence presented by the District Attorney against my client is bogus and circumstantial. Let me remind you:
1. The loaded pistol found on my client at the time of his arrest was not a weapon used in the commission of any crime. Rather, it was a weapon of protection to keep rabid skunks, raccoons, and squirrels away from his prized Blue Tick coon dog and his 8 precious children.
2. The identification of my client fleeing the crime scene was based on purely circumstantial evidence. Let me remind you that are probably several hundred red1956 Ford Pickups with a left rear tail light inoperative, and a red fox tail attached to a homemade coat hanger radio antenna.
3. The admitted argument between my client and the deceased was about a friendly football wager that the deceased owed my client from last year's Orange Bowl. To suggest it was about the deceased being seen with my client's wife in the Big Deer Saloon is merely a vicious rumor and totally unfounded.
4. Finally, let me remind the members of the jury of the upcoming election for district attorney. As you know, incumbents for this important judicial position like to parade Won-Lost figures to impress the electorate.
5. The citizens of this county demand and deserve an honest, trained, and skilled prosecutor of the law by the district attorney. My demonstrated record of successful representation of my clients in our county makes me the only real choice for a new district attorney.
You must find my client innocent and vote for me next Tuesday.
Glenn <><
Just West of Yesterday
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