THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY
The day was
so extra special for Wilbur Windham, a.k.a. Will. Today was Will’s 18th
Birthday. Further, he was only two months away from graduating from high
school. The mail contained some exciting communication for Will.
He was admitted
to the prestigious, honeysuckled covered walls of Graham Creek University. His
ACT score of 33 clinched his acceptance and a full ride to GCU. A color
brochure from Ford spotlighted the Candy Apple Red Mustang convertible Mom and
Dad had special ordered for him. A card from Aunt Stella in Cleveland told Will
to go to Best Buy and pick out any laptop and have them call her for the credit
card info. Will liked everything about Aunt Stella except the horrible perfume
she wore in hopes of luring a husband who would marry a chubby 57 year old
woman.
Grandma
Windham sent a card containing five crisp $100 bills to be used for college
expenses. She closed with a very promising note: When she and her Kentucky
tobacco growing husband sold their tobacco, around the first of the year, she
would send five more “Benjamins.” Wow! This is a day for rejoicing and
shouting. Mom and his 8th grade sister lead the cheers.
Could Will’s
life get any better? Maybe yes? Maybe no?
A panicky text message from his sweetheart, Sally, started an avalanche
of bad news. He immediately called her and through her hysterical sobs he made
out the following:
a. Her
mother opened a confidential doctor’s report addressed to her father. The
letter simply stated the blood tests confirmed he had an STD. Later, Mom nearly
attacked her father demanding an explanation. Old dad, fearing the words might
turn to guns and knives, confessed he and the men from his VFW post made an
overnight trip to Canada while attending the National VFW Convention in
Buffalo. Yes, he had a one-night stand with a dancer from a local club. No, he
doesn’t know her name or phone number. She was only called Niagara Falls by the
club. Yes, he was sorry and volunteered to move out of the house the next
morning. He did.
b. Mom on
the other was livid and sought revenge. She got a clean bill of health from a one-day, free women’s clinic and without as
much as a goodbye note, ran off with a young door-to-door magazine salesman
from West Virginia two days later. Sally was by now already living with an
aunt. The aunt reassured Sally that she was sure her mother would call her
before long.
c. Sally was
so upset by the events surrounding her parents that she failed to stop at a
Stop sign and T-Boned a limo carrying the top 12 Girl Scout cookie sellers
enroute to Chuckie Cheeze for an awards party. No one was injured; however, her
Ford 150 pickup was totaled, the limo company has threatened a lawsuit, and the
parents of the 12 Girl Scouts are considering a class-action suit against
Sally, her parents, her driving instructor, Ford Motor Co, the Stop sign
manufacturer, street maintenance crew, the mayor and anyone who will admit
voting for him.
d. Sally’s
brother broke up with his teenage girlfriend and moved in with a single mother
with eight children. Her brother told Sally that with Food Stamps, free
medical, free cell phone and welfare he will never have to work a day in his
life!
e. Will
tried in vain to comfort the heart broken girlfriend of some seven years. He
told her he loved and not do anything stupid and hung up. He was shaking
uncontrollably.
Everything
seemed in hyper speed and he could not make it slow down, much less stop. He was
so glad to see his Dad come in from the dog collar manufacturing plant. His Dad
who would only drink a couple of beers at a Fourth of July cookout was tore up
like a can of kraut. The old man was stoned, blasted, plastered and feeling no
pain. Will and Mom rushed to help this Good Time Charlie to his $758 Lazy Boy
recliner. To every question he would shout “Those *&^%&&*!”
Ten minutes
later the air in the living room was still blue but he had enough composure to
tell them what brought on this one-man party. Seems the dog collar plant, all
equipment, all suppliers and venders, warehouses, and distribution network had
been purchased by a drug cartel in Mexico. Everything was moving to Nuevo
Laredo in six months. To placate the Mexican authorities, the factory will only
employ Mexican Nationals. Will’s Dad, the current plant manager, had a $200k
per year salary. He had 10 years to go before retirement.
Will thought
he was on the portal of Hell. Nothing seemed to make sense. Everything was a
first class 27 alarm disaster. How could anything get worse? His answer soon
came when his Mom shouted that the kitchen was on fire! During the commotion
surrounding Dad, the bacon she was frying for BLTs was left unattended and
burst into flames and the popping grease quickly spread to the hutch containing
her grandmother’s silverware. Somehow the green and gold lava lamp which Dad
insisted be placed on top of the hutch escaped the now strengthening blaze. Mom
was frozen in place and just seconds from passing out, Dad had already gone to
where all good drunks go---the bathroom and was no help to fight the fire, so
only Will could answer the call to duty.
Will did two
actions almost at once. He grabbed the flour container and threw the full
contents onto the stove smothering the source of the flames. Within a split
second he wet several kitchen towels and beat the fire on the hutch out in just
a few seconds.
Only good
old Mom could bring comfort to this madness. Through her own tears she told the
upset, broken hearted Windham family to go to bed, sleep late for tomorrow is
Saturday. Her final pep talk included the encouraging assurance that tomorrow
would be better.
WATCH FOR PART TWO WITHIN A WEEK
GLENN <><
JUST WEST OF YESTERDAY
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