USED CAR LANGUAGE TRANSLATION GUIDE

In Sunday's newspaper you see an ad for the exact car you have been looking for. The car is being sold by an individual. You excitedly place a call and ask the seller several very important questions and his answers are on the top line and what he really means is on the second line.

1What he says: "It's a real classic."
   What he means: "I can't find parts for this car anywhere."

2. He says: "Only burns a little oil."
    He means: "This car smokes like a locomotive."

3. He says: "Most of the miles are just road miles."
    He means "Three Baja races and five Trans-Canada runs."

4. He says: "It has a few small dents."
    He means: "I rolled that sucker three times."

5. He says: "Like new tires."
    He means: I can see the steel belts on all tires."

6. He says: "Drives out nice."
    He means: "After 90 mph its smooth as silk."

7. He says: "Pulls a bit to the right."
    He means: "I forgot to take the dirt track tires off."

8. He says: "A/C needs some Freon."
    He means: "A/C has never worked and never will"

9. He says: "Radio is slightly scratchy."
    He means: "The second fire under the dash cooked it."

10. He says:: "Best mpg of all my cars."
      He means: "Better have 2 jobs for this guzzler."   

Glenn <><