UNLESS YOU LIVE ON AN ICEBERG, YOU HAVE NEIGHBORS. WHAT KIND OF NEIGHBORS DO YOU HAVE?
1. Are your neighbors Hopeless? Helpless? Hapless?
2. Your neighbors are hosting a backyard reception for their daughter's wedding. Would you Turn on Your Lawn Sprinklers? Call 911 to Complain of the Noise? Send your Large Drone over to Drop Rice? In the 5 lb box?
3. Would it bother you if your neighbor's 20 foot Boa got loose? They started a backyard Hog Farm? They replaced all of their outside lights with Red Bulbs?
4. Your neighbor's 14 year old Geeky son develops a water balloon launcher that will send a water balloon 1/2 mile. Chances are he is in store for a full ride to MIT? Presidential guided tour of the White House? Six months in Juvenile Detention?
5. The wife next door looks like Bridget Bardot at 27. The husband looks like Captain Kangaroo? Freddy Krueger? Gabby Hayes?
6. Would you loan your neighbor your leaky canoe for their vacation? Malfunctioning GPS unit? Out-of-date first aid kit?
7. Your neighbor is nearly killed in an auto accident. Would you send a large Venus Flytrap to the hospital? Mow their 8'X10' front yard for $100? Pickup their mail and read it?
8. The teenage daughter of your neighbor throws some loud Wild Parties when Mom/Dad are away. Would you call 911? Call their house to complain? Order $250 of pizzas to be delivered to their house (COD)?
9. Your neighbor always borrows your fishing rods for his family's Colorado vacations. Without him knowing it, you replace the 15 lb test line with 1 lb test? Call the Colorado Fish & Game and report him as a serial poacher? Ask him to loan you his new Lexus for your 3 month Alaskan fishing adventure?
10. Your neighbor has a yard that looks like a Nat Geo location. To encourage him to clean it up you could: Place a dozen pink flamingos in the front yard? Start a neighborhood rumor that you have discovered gold in your backyard? Secretly nominate his address for "Yard of the Month?"
Glenn <><
Just West of Yesterday
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