Thursday, February 14, 2013

RECENTLY UNEARTHED HISTORY OF COUNTY JENNINGSHIRE

AN HISTORIC ARCHAEOLOGICAL DISCOVERY HAS CAST NEW LIGHT ON THE EARLY HISTORY OF COUNTY JENNINGSHIRE. PARCHMENTS FOUND IN  NIXON'S CAVE REVEAL NEW INSIGHTS ON THE EARLY DAYS OF OUR COUNTY. THE CONTENTS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Once upon a time the normally hostile fiefdoms of County Jenningshire came together to attempt to solve a troublesome common problem. Those present included:

                                         The Maid of Marion
                                          Robin of Lovett
                                          Count & Countess of Commiskey
                                          Viscount of Vernon
                                          Duke & Duchess of Deputy
                                          Wizard of Weston Bottoms
                                          Witch of Walnut Ridge
                                           Ira of Whitaker    
                                            (aka Sheriff of Nottingham)
                                           Prince of Paris Crossing
The problem was a band of undisciplined youth operating as Pirates on the Great Graham Creek. The Pirates, both boys and girls, were boarding ships, stealing the cargo and sinking the ships. In addition, the Pirates were burning barns, stealing livestock, and cutting donuts in the hay fields. All efforts to stop them proved futile.

Several solutions were proposed. Most dealt with the complete eradication of the youth. However, it was quickly pointed out that  new replacements would arrive every year and the problem would start all over again. 

 It was the Prince of Paris Crossing who came up with a solution that was quickly adopted. Build a prison, we'll call it a school, and require all youth to attend for four years. After that their sentences would be commuted and set free. To ensure youth would attend, the school mascot would be the Pirates.

Brilliant solution. The problems of the Pirates on the Great Graham Creek were solved and guards, called teachers, were hired to keep the youth at the school during the day.

And they all lived happily ever after, Well, most did.

No comments:

Post a Comment