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Why Your Childhood Friends are the Best Friends You'll Ever Have

http://www.puckermob.com/relationships/why-your-childhood-friends-are-the-best-friends-youll-ever-have

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RELATIONSHIPS JUL 25, 2014

BY CYNTHIA DITE SIRNI

Did you ever see the movieStand By Me? The last line gets me every time. “I never had any friends later like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone? ”This sentence is like a perfect capsule of childhood friendships.  When we make our very first friends, in kindergarten or nursery school or in the back yards, it’s at attachment in its purest form. 

We love those friends because of who they are and not for any other reason.  Childhood friendships are formed without jealousy or competition. There’s no sexual energy. There’s no resentment or insecurity. We play with these kids just for the love of play. 

Childhood friends are as close to siblings as we will ever have. There is something to be said for the entity of time when building bonds between people. Years of photographs and birthday parties and camp outs form a bond that can’t be broken. Even if we no longer see our childhood friends and aren’t in touch with them, we know that if we saw them we would smile and hug and wipe happy tears. We see past the receding hairlines and the widening waistlines to the child we knew. We always relate to these people in our child like mode even if we are friends as adults. Child like is different than childish. With these friends we can:

• Tell them they’re stupid to their face. They aren’t insulted and we aren’t being mean.  It’s just a fact at that particular juncture.
• Let down our guard. We don’t need to be “on” because they met us when we were “off” and they loved us anyway.
• Share a bed or a room on a trip. We’ve slept on countless living room floors, in hundreds of forts and under the stars together.  With co-workers, not so much. (I hope.)
• They are genuinely happy for us. We all have “frenemies.” There are lots of people we have to deal with every day of whom we are not fond.  Professional engagements, parents of our children’s friends, in-laws. You know who they are. Those people are a little envious and snide when something happens to us that’s wonderful. (If we’re honest, we feel the same way about them.) Childhood friends feel nothing but joy because you’re accomplishment is theirs as well.  Even if it isn’t.
• We can see through the B.S. When we see these people in their “on” mode in other social venues, we laugh because we can see the child.  
• They’ve seen us at our worst. Physically and mentally our childhood friends have seen us as a mess. Whether covered in grass stains or crying big snotty ugly cries, those friends have seen it all. 

Today, think about your dearest childhood friends. If you aren’t in touch, try and connect. Feel like you’re twelve again.