We Are Never Too Old To Learn

Ok. My vanity is on full display, again.

I consider myself an above average identifier of '50s Rock n Roll songs. But today I was stumped on this one:

"Girls grow up faster than boys" by the Cookies

Do you remember this "chart buster"?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtLBJzHPJbY


Neither my Mom or Dad shared this fundamental truth with me while I was a teenager. I suppose I learned it experientially! If any of the girls who I
dated in high school happen to read this--- I say a belated Thank You for the lessons.

A couple deserve a Golden Apple for their very special teaching ability!

March of the Monarchs

In September of each year the Monarch butterflies pass through Oklahoma on their way to Mexico for the winter months. Thousands come by and it is really something to see. Like migratory birds, the butterflies somehow know the way there and how to fly north in the Spring. ADULTS Male Monarch: Notice the thin vein pigmentation and swollen pouches on the hindwings. Female Monarch: Notice the thick vein pigmentation and no hindwing pouches.

MORE OF MY OBSESSION---Graham Creek



I do not own the Copyright on this photo

I am speculating the photographer is the same chap who has placed many photos of the James Covered Bridge on the Internet. Furthermore, I think this shot is looking North /Upstream from the bridge.
 
The photo was taken in late summer when the creek gets very low. I have caught a lot of smallmouth bass from the small pockets of water. Minnows hang out near the weeds and so do the bass. I can close my eyes and almost hear the riffles and smell the cool dampness of the creek. Mourning doves (rain crows) and an excited child's voice can be heard immediately after a couple of car doors slam.
 
Mussel shells and crawdads cover much of the bottom.  
 
I have been most fortunate to have fished in some very fine trout streams/lakes across our great country. Have fished in three oceans and the Gulf of Mexico; however, my heart will always belongs to Graham Creek and the many wonderful memories made there.
 
My gosh I miss it.          Glenn <><

PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING QUESTIONS

In these tough economic times, BEFORE getting married ask your potential spouse the following questions:

1.   Without looking, how much money do you have in your purse/wallet? Now see if you are within 2 dollars of the actual amount?

2.    Situation: A massive snowstorm hits overnight halting welfare check house deliveries. What would be the best streets to take to get to the local post office.

3.   Jack Daniels is distilled in what state?

4.   When a pair of dice are tossed and a 2 and a 5 are showing, what is on the bottom of each?

5.   Name the operating hours of two pawn shops in the local area.

6.   Name six different ways to prepare baloney.

7.   When your mother refuses to “lend” more money, what is the next course of action?

The answers to these questions could be an indicator to see if the relationship should be continued.

IMMEDIATE JOB OPENING

Life Guard in drive through car wash. Red Cross certification with soapy water endorsement required. UA required. BI required. Primary duties---rescue drunk drivers and disabled passengers who have convertible tops down when entering car wash. No benefits. Pay determined by persons saved minus persons lost. Career advancement determined by daily customer reports. Send resume to : captainahab@deepsixcarwash.com

WHAT'S IN A NUMBER ?? V2.0 Mystery Explained

See Explanation At Bottom Of Post

1.     72 is 2 times 36 which is 2 times 18

2.     72 is 4 times 18

3.     72 is 6 times 12 and 6 plus 12 is 18

4.     72 is  6 plus 6 is 12 and plus 6 is 18  

            "It's elementary Dr. Watson."

"Dr. Watson, its really quite simple---The very vain Blogger turned 72 on the 18th of October."

"Holmes, you continue to amaze me."

"Sure wish I'd marked the calendar!"

"Sure wish I'd marked the calendar!"

Was it the day I hired a boy to mow my yard?
                              OR
Was it when I tried to play basketball again?
                              OR
Was it the day I dropped a bag of groceries?
                              OR
Was it when a teenager held a door open?
                              OR
Was it when all the obits were younger than me?
                              OR
Was it when the last piece was saved for me?
                           
Sure wish I'd marked the calendar the day when I got Old

Glenn <><

"All I know is what I read in the papers" ----Wil Rogers

I look for chances to quote the all-time, undefeated, champion entertainer from Oklahoma---Will Rogers.

"SO WAKE ME UP WHEN ITS ALL OVER"

I am probably the last guy on planet Earth to discover this catchy song.

It has a '60s sound. It is the sort of music Jimmy Webb might have written. The late John Denver could handle this song just fine.

Check out this You Tube music video:

http://www.youtube.com/user/AviciiOfficialVEVO?feature=watch


Glenn <>< The Oldest New Music Critic

LET IT SNOW! LET IT SNOW! LET IT SNOW!

 

 

The following brief true accounts are indicative of Hoosier Hospitality and Dedication:

 

 

1. Sectional Sleepover:  A monster snowstorm piled up many inches of snow during a Columbus Sectional. Fans from many schools were stranded. My wife's grandmother lived about six blocks south of the gym and opened her home for stranded fans.

 

She cooked breakfast for the entire group the following morning. (I loved her as much as my biological grandmothers.)

 

2. Cummins Continuity: Another big snow hit Columbus and a former PCHS student stepped up and did something above and beyond. He had a vital job at the factory that impacted the entire plant. His relief shift operator was snowed out and the former PCHS student stayed on the job a total of 36 straight hours. The multi-million dollar engine maker was able to stay open.  

 

His overtime check was so big they gave him two separate checks.

 

3. Frog legs and Catfish:  This snow story also involves a former PCHS student who was in the Vernon Nip-N-Sip bar when a jumbo snow hit. The total storm dropped 14 inches and the bar owner locked the door at closing time and told the patrons it was too bad to attempt to drive home. He retrieved frog legs and catfish from his freezer and the entire band of bar room buddies ate and drank the night away!---All free!

 

Some snow bound patrons slept (make that passed out) on the floor and some slept crumpled up against the wall like so many puppets with the controlling strings removed. 

 

About 9 am the next morning the snow plows had removed enough snow to permit the headache hurting good old boys to drive home. (For the record---The former PCHS student claims to have pulled an up all night session and never went to sleep.)  

AN AWESOME SURPRISE DISCOVERY V. 2.0

By accident, I found this poem by Abraham Lincoln. (Note--The Second Half is Rough)

My Childhood Home I See Again

I 

My childhood's home I see again, 
And sadden with the view; 
And still, as memory crowds my brain, 
There's pleasure in it too. 

O Memory! thou midway world 
'Twixt earth and paradise, 
Where things decayed and loved ones lost 
In dreamy shadows rise, 

And, freed from all that's earthly vile, 
Seem hallowed, pure, and bright, 
Like scenes in some enchanted isle 
All bathed in liquid light. 

As dusky mountains please the eye 
When twilight chases day; 
As bugle-tones that, passing by, 
In distance die away; 

As leaving some grand waterfall, 
We, lingering, list its roar-- 
So memory will hallow all 
We've known, but know no more. 

Near twenty years have passed away 
Since here I bid farewell 
To woods and fields, and scenes of play, 
And playmates loved so well. 

Where many were, but few remain 
Of old familiar things; 
But seeing them, to mind again 
The lost and absent brings. 

The friends I left that parting day, 
How changed, as time has sped! 
Young childhood grown, strong manhood gray, 
And half of all are dead. 

I hear the loved survivors tell 
How nought from death could save, 
Till every sound appears a knell, 
And every spot a grave. 

I range the fields with pensive tread, 
And pace the hollow rooms, 
And feel (companion of the dead) 
I'm living in the tombs. 

II 

But here's an object more of dread 
Than ought the grave contains-- 
A human form with reason fled, 
While wretched life remains. 

Poor Matthew! Once of genius bright, 
A fortune-favored child-- 
Now locked for aye, in mental night, 
A haggard mad-man wild. 

Poor Matthew! I have ne'er forgot, 
When first, with maddened will, 
Yourself you maimed, your father fought, 
And mother strove to kill; 

When terror spread, and neighbors ran, 
Your dange'rous strength to bind; 
And soon, a howling crazy man 
Your limbs were fast confined. 

How then you strove and shrieked aloud, 
Your bones and sinews bared; 
And fiendish on the gazing crowd, 
With burning eye-balls glared-- 

And begged, and swore, and wept and prayed 
With maniac laught[ter?] joined-- 
How fearful were those signs displayed 
By pangs that killed thy mind! 

And when at length, tho' drear and long, 
Time smoothed thy fiercer woes, 
How plaintively thy mournful song 
Upon the still night rose. 

I've heard it oft, as if I dreamed, 
Far distant, sweet, and lone-- 
The funeral dirge, it ever seemed 
Of reason dead and gone. 

To drink it's strains, I've stole away, 
All stealthily and still, 
Ere yet the rising God of day 
Had streaked the Eastern hill. 

Air held his breath; trees, with the spell, 
Seemed sorrowing angels round, 
Whose swelling tears in dew-drops fell 
Upon the listening ground. 

But this is past; and nought remains, 
That raised thee o'er the brute. 
Thy piercing shrieks, and soothing strains, 
Are like, forever mute. 

Now fare thee well--more thou the cause, 
Than subject now of woe. 
All mental pangs, by time's kind laws, 
Hast lost the power to know. 

O death! Thou awe-inspiring prince, 
That keepst the world in fear; 
Why dost thos tear more blest ones hence, 
And leave him ling'ring here? 

Abraham Lincoln

LETTER RECEIVED BY FORMER PCHS STUDENT

THE FOLLOWING LETTER DOES NOT REQUIRE ADDITIONAL COMMENT:

                    DEWEY, CHEATUM & HOWE

                        Specializing in School Disciplinary Law

 

Dear Former Paris Crossing High School Student:

We solicit your assistance in collecting information about teacher/student beat downs during your days at Paris Crossing High School. The information will be part of a Class Action lawsuit we plan to file against the estates of former teachers.

Your factual description (s) of teachers using abnormal force against helpless, defenseless students would be of invaluable assistance. Be specific and give as much detail as possible.

One of your classmates produced a blurry, yellowed Kodak Brownie Hawkeye picture that shows him getting off a school bus that allegedly shows the results of a teacher beat down. The student had a patch over his left eye, a band aid covering a cut lip, his right arm was in a sling and he had a crutch under his left arm. He told an investigator from our firm that as bad as he looked he felt he was one of the lucky ones. In addition, he has suffered post-traumatic teacher beat down since age 20.  To quote Dr. B. Owens, “Losing weight and turning mighty pale.”

Information gleaned from the private diaries of former PCHS students claimed they were privately threatened with brass knucks, rubber hoses and even waterboarding.  All collected information will be shared with Nazi hunters in Israel.

Your prompt reply will move your big payout a day closer.

 

Ima Cheatum

Thanks for nice comments

USED CAR LANGUAGE TRANSLATION GUIDE

In Sunday's newspaper you see an ad for the exact car you have been looking for. The car is being sold by an individual. You excitedly place a call and ask the seller several very important questions and his answers are on the top line and what he really means is on the second line.

1What he says: "It's a real classic."
   What he means: "I can't find parts for this car anywhere."

2. He says: "Only burns a little oil."
    He means: "This car smokes like a locomotive."

3. He says: "Most of the miles are just road miles."
    He means "Three Baja races and five Trans-Canada runs."

4. He says: "It has a few small dents."
    He means: "I rolled that sucker three times."

5. He says: "Like new tires."
    He means: I can see the steel belts on all tires."

6. He says: "Drives out nice."
    He means: "After 90 mph its smooth as silk."

7. He says: "Pulls a bit to the right."
    He means: "I forgot to take the dirt track tires off."

8. He says: "A/C needs some Freon."
    He means: "A/C has never worked and never will"

9. He says: "Radio is slightly scratchy."
    He means: "The second fire under the dash cooked it."

10. He says:: "Best mpg of all my cars."
      He means: "Better have 2 jobs for this guzzler."   

Glenn <><

JAMES COVERED BRIDGE--Letter to Editor V 2.0

I sent this to Editor Mayer: Says it will be printed 

September 19, 2013

North Vernon Sun/Plain Dealer

Letters to the Editor:

Please add my voice to the growing chorus of local residents who are lamenting the damage done to the James Covered Bridge.

I am within an easy layup of 72 years of age.  And that old bridge continues to serve as the lynch pin of my memories of growing up within a few miles of this irreplaceable structure. The bridge was a landmark for relatives who came to visit us. Shelter was often sought in the bridge when rain interrupted our fishing in Graham Creek. Countless times my father would honk the car horn while travelling through the bridge. It also served as a public museum of carved initials.

Call me maudlin, nostalgic, or even worse; but damage to that bridge vicariously hurts me. It is especially distressing to see the bridge damaged so soon after major renovation.

Hopefully, matters of conscience and/or the law , have identified the person or persons responsible for damaging the bridge and restitution started.

Long after I cross River Jordon and enter that city not made by human hands, I pray the James Covered Bridge will still be standing and helping to create memories for generations still unborn.

 

Glenn <><

OH NO!!!!!!!!!

 

The recently rehabilitated James Covered Bridge incurred significant damage on Saturday when it was reportedly struck by a tractor and a loaded grain truck trying to cross it.

"This is heartbreaking," said Shawn Over of the Jennings County Highway Department. "After all that hard work and with so many people watching the progress of the bridge's renovation, this is tough to take. The James Covered Bridge looked great until then."

The damage is to the right side of the west entrance of the 140-foot long wooden span in Lovett Township. One of the beams inside the bridge was also cracked. (Photo & article from North Vernon Sun)

RETHINKING MY LOVE AFFAIR WITH OKLAHOMA V 2.0

Regular readers of my Blog will testify I have an ardent, profound, and highly partial love affair with the state of Oklahoma. After the events of this morning I am taking a hard and reflective re-examination of my touting the virtues of this state.
Here's why: 

In our neighborhood there are 6-8 banana trees, about 7 feet tall, growing in a man's yard. I stopped this morning to take a photo for my brother in Indiana. Just as I was about the click the shutter I heard "Hee-Hee-Hee -He" It was the unmistakable sound of the Tanzanian Low Land GO-rilla. (I've watch a lot of National Geographic's) Around the south side of the trees came a creature with long reddish brown hair. I could not make out any facial features. It was walking upright.

I hop in my old minivan and rush to the nearest convenience store to report my survival escape and to ask the owner to call the police.

The owner calmly asked how long I had lived in our community. I told him about 20 years. He said. "There ain't no GO-rillas here." I think he heard my sigh of relief.

He went on to say, "Every now and again you'll see a wild O-Rang-A- tang." That didn't help me one bit. I now was convinced that the creature I saw was a wild O-Rang-A-tang.

I got one of the guys that just hangs around this store to ride with me back to the banana trees. We found the home owner watering the trees. I retold my story and he started to laugh.


"That GO-rilla sound was me trying to start an old 150cc off road bike. The sound you heard was me beating on the head cylinder." I asked, "What was that reddish brown long haired creature?"

Through his almost uncontrolled laughter he said, "THAT GO-rilla was my wife's no account son Travis who came home from college to do his laundry!"

     (Hopefully, you see this is a fictional account. The banana trees are true.)

FOOD SAFETY RECONSIDERED

YOUR GRANDCHILD’S TEACHER ASKS YOU TO GIVE A SHORT TALK ON FOOD SAFETY. AFTER COMPLETING THE TALK YOU GIVE A SHORT QUIZ: 

1.       It is safe to buy canned food if the can is

a.       Several years out of date

b.      Bloated on both ends

c.       Rusted on the rim of the can

d.      All of the above

2.       At the family reunion it is safe to eat

a.       Aunt Ruth’s potato salad left out in the sun

b.      Uncle Henry’s 3 year old BBQ

c.       Grandma’s fly-blown cream cheese cake

d.      All of the above

3.        You go with Mom to buy fruit at a roadside stand

a.       Completely black bananas are OK

b.      Half of a watermelon covered with burlap is OK

c.       Tomatoes that have turned gray are fine

d.      All of the above

 

HOPEFULLY, YOU REALIZE THIS AN ATTEMPT AT A JOKE. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

           

"I Get Around too Much Anymore"

Don't Get Around Much Anymore

 

Duke Ellington, B.B. King

Missed the Saturday dance,
heard they crowded the floor
It's awfully different without you,
don't get around much anymoreThought I visit the club,
got as far as the door
I just couldn't bear without you,
I don't get around much anymore
Darling I guess, my mind is more at ease
but nevertheless, why stir up memories
Been invited on a date,
I might have gone, but what for
I just couldn't bear it without you,
I don't get around much anymore
Don't get around much anymore
by Duke Ellington / Bob Russell

SAW THIS ON A CHURCH SIGN

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